Your Arrival...
1) Know what side your gas door is on. It saves us the time, and you the embarrassment.
2) Do not speed while pulling in.
3) Do not have your "bass down low". You're automatically classified as a douchebag.
4) When we stand next to a pump, that means stop at that pump. Do not ignore us, and stop too early, or drive right past us.
5)
How much can I get for you?
1) Roll your window down. Don't be lazy, or an asshole. Don't try to communicate with us through your window.
2) Proper pronunciation. "FIFTY" and "FIFTEEN" sound the same.
3) If you say a dollar amount, don't pay debit or credit. Cash is quicker.
4) DON'T PAY IN SMALL CHANGE.
While it's pumping...
1) I'm sorry, are you a fucking meteorologist? Don't tell us "it's cold out!" or "it's wet". You, from the safety of your heated vehicle, tell me, as I stand in the freezing rain, that it's cold? Thanks Weatherman Dave, and now to Harrison with the sports.
2) Please do not stand within 3 feet of us. It's called personal space.
3) No, you can't pay now. Wait till it's done pumping, dick.
4) I don't care how long you've been smoking, put it out. There are SEVERAL signs posted. If you're smoking within 10 feet of a pump, put it out. It's not rocket science. Gas go boom.
5) Don't ask about my personal life.
How would you like to pay for that?
1) If your paying with credit, you don't have to get out of your car.
2) Don't steal our pens.
3) Yes, our debit machine is ghetto. We don't have a "Chip Machine" yet. Hence the "NO CHIP" sign TAPED into our debit machine. So please, don't try to put your chip card in, or tell me "It's got a chip"
4)"Stripe towards me" means swipe the card, stripe facing me. It doesn't mean hold your card into the air, and say "LIKE THIS?".....dumbass.
5) If you want smokes, come inside. There is no fucking way we will bring them out to you, your majesty.
As you're leaving...
1) Don't linger. Once you are back in your car,don't sit there and do your hair, or call someone, or pick your nose( don't lie, we see you do it). There is another customer behind you, and your wasting all of our time.
2) Don't peel-out. You look like a douchbag.
-J
